You’ve probably heard of the saying, ‘fake it till you make it’ and maybe tried it too. But let me tell you, this is the biggest load of crap I’ve ever experienced. I mean, yes, it works.
And OH, IT WORKS WONDERS!!
It makes you feel everything you’re not and everything that you want to be and that’s great. It kinda even fills a void within you. It makes you feel more powerful, more loved, more attractive and more confident and people really notice that! t changes your ‘vibe’ and people around you definitely feed on it, kinda like how it is said ‘energy is contagious’.
And that is good to hear, OBVIOUSLY!
I mean, that’s validation right?
The entire basis of why social media even exists and works so effortlessly, in my opinion.
V-A-L-I-D-A-T-I-O-N.
A simple 10 letter word that describe almost 70% of our actions and existence; of why we do some of the things we do and why do we do them even when they might not necessarily be right.
I mean, yeah, you can tell me you’re doing a certain activity for yourself and I’d believe you 100% without a percent of doubt. But you’re telling me you’re not gonna enjoy it a little extra when someone notices your Rolex or asks for a ride in your new Mercedes or compliments the smoothness of the expensive whiskey you share?
Isn’t that validation too?
I don’t mean to question your intentions or motivation for working as hard as you do. I mean, if it works for you, it’s good only, right?
But isn’t this also the equivalent of lying? Isn’t anything you fake, a fact or an action or emotion, a tiny part of lying?
Let’s take an example. Imagine that your entire personality is like a sandcastle. Imagine your many inherent traits are small grains of sand and your tiny ‘fake it till you make’ actions as tiny grains of powdered sugar. With time, this sandcastle is only going to get better and bigger, filled with sand and sugar. But as soon as there’s a big wave (problems/truths), it’s going to disperse the sand (which is still fixable) but it’ll dissolve all the sugar which will only lead to more gaps in the reconstruction.
Here’s another way to look at it. This whole practice may be good for you, but you’re probably hurting someone you love or you’re gaining something under false pretences or worse yet, you end up living the lie so flawlessly that it becomes your new/alternate reality and the worst of them all, it’s all of the above.
What’s funny though, is we see this happen all around us all the time. I mean, we’re all well-versed with ‘Window Dressing’ as a concept. Study it professionally and you’ll find a course called ‘Marketing’.
But let’s get back to what I’m really trying to say, because I’m trying to talk about this at a more human and personal level. Because over the years, I have been guilty of doing this again and again and again with it’s adverse effects coming in the form go all the problems I mentioned earlier and quite frankly, IT SUCKS!!
Nothing hurts more than hurting the people you really truly love and care about. Things like that really mess with your mind and daily well being. It’s kind of a vicious circle in itself. You fake it till you make it or until the truth catches up to you, you hurt people and yourself and then pick up the broken pieces and start all over again.
So maybe don’t do it. Or maybe do. I’m curious to know about what y’all think about it!
Bombay Ficus 
That’s some amazing perspective! What would be your alternate strategy to this “fake it till you make it” concept?
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I honestly don’t have one. I keep thinking about it too!
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A honest article. Nothing wrong one is even feeling successful with a fake impression. Our society is driven mainly by a fake in all its aspects. To manifest ourselves in that world, one needs to act accordingly. If not, that is ok too if one is aware of that. The latter is often creating issues when not. Of course, I prefer real, ethnic living. But that is not meant to be so during the time given for me.
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I have never mastered the art of faking it. The only thing I have done subconsciously is mask my autism. I did not know I was autistic. I just had to hide my “crazy” somehow to not upset the universe. But now that I know I am significantly autistic, I can own it.
It is a gift I didn’t know I had. I am better at saying, “I don’t get jokes, sarcasm or satire.”
We all lie to some extent. It is not great. Mostly we lie instead of just saying, “no thank you. ”
It is quite a thing to get used to. No is not everyone’s favorite response. They prefer accommodating. I am no longer accommodating. I lived long before I found out I was autistic. I am a functional autistic. I function at work, suck at fun things other people seem to enjoy.
Luckily I am now old and I can live quietly in peace.
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Faking it until you make it makes me think of my day job and my moonlighting job. My day job pays some bills and I love or at least like it every day. I have to muster up enthusiasm for my clients that I do not always feel. But most times, I am genuinely happy to see them. Usually, my problems are my relationships with my colleagues or bosses.
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Bingo. I wrote about exactly this subject in my blog: Pop psychology is a load of horseshit.
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a very good piece of writing!!
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Thank you so much 🙂
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Integrity, Authenticity, Honesty – that, to me, is Strength personified. Personally, I have always experienced the flip side of not faking it. It’s been hell difficult, and truth be told, there were fleeting moments when I did wish I could fake it, I could be otherwise but eventually I’d rather not have it all in life than not have me at the end of the day when I look into the mirror.
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I kind of feel like if you can become your hype but letting confidence become habit it’s ok, superficial attempts at looking successful is a different thing, food for thought anyway, great post👏
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In my experience, “fake it ’till you make it” only works short-term. Sure, it can help you stay focused and work while secretly having a mild panic attack for 3 hours. Or, you can pretend to be crying from a sad audiobook and not just for no reason when sitting on a public bus. But, when you try to become someone else than who you are for an extended period of time, you just end up hurting yourself. I’ve done it. I did it so long that I’m still trying to sort through who I really am and who I told myself I was. And, in the end, all “faking it” ever did was help me put bandaids over bullet holes. No matter how many bandaids I went through, it simply was never enough. It never helped me sort through my REAL issues. It never helped me actually fill that void in my heart. Because a lot of those issues and much of that void stemmed from me neglecting myself. And, pretending to be someone else could never, ever fix that. Be yourself. Be honest. Be authentic. It is the only way to be truly HEALTHY. Anyone who tells you “fake it ’till you make it” really works is just hoping to gain just enough of your trust to be able to sell you something else when it inevitably doesn’t. They see you as a customer, not a person. Do NOT believe them.
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Extremely thought provoking. I love this! Looking forward to reading more of your work!
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😁👍
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Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford.
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The words “faking it” seems to imply you’re doing something that’s not real for you. I imagine if you focused more on making what you want real for you and less on how it’s not real for you, you might experience more desired results. Bob
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