Over time, we’ve come across all kinds of love and friendships. And with that, comes all kinds of various suggestions and ideas around dating your friend. In fact, a lot of the movies we see have been on this premise.
From Kuch Kuch Hota Hai in Bollywood that revolved in its favor and very famously said, “Pyaar Dosti hai (love is friendship)”, which every second Indian today quotes at some point in their lives, or a comfort watch like “When Harry Met Sally”, to Hollywood movies like “500 Days of Summer”; which suggest that it’s just not meant to be.
When ‘Chandler and Monica’ get together or when ‘Joey and Rachel’ can’t. Maybe it’s the best thing to happen or maybe it’s not, it’s all too subjective. It cannot possibly be just me who’s made this, ‘We’ll get married if we’re single at 40’ kinda promises with my bestfriend, to which I sometimes wonder, why wait until 40 (when your life is almost half gone)?
I’ve come across so many instances where it’s said, dating your best friend isn’t a good idea because that could lead to the beginning of the end of a cherished connection and is not probably worth the risk. That just makes me wonder… Here’s a recent incident that made me think about this for hours!
Amidst this COVID19 lockdown and us not being able to meet the people we love, with there being no first dates and where every relationship feels like long-distance; I’d simply forgotten about how a lot of things are supposed to make me feel. But it all changed in the span of 60 minutes when I met my bestfriend.
We saw each other after an ETERNITY, which was followed by a much needed (but anxious) hug and a lot of hand sanitizer. That’s when it all came back. That comfort of talking your heart out to your someone, listening to them talk about their life because you care so much; sharing problems, perspectives, and the obvious banter.
It all just feels like routine bestfriend stuff, I know. But that rush came back when I hugged her goodbye. I don’t remember the last time I felt such a pure emotion of nothing but joy and comfort in being in her presence and that just got me to wonder!
I’d want that genuineness and purity, that effortless care about someone I end up with. Just to feel so secure in someone’s arms or the fact that every embrace with that special someone is so wholesome because anything else simply feels like a compromise. When everything with YOUR person is like second nature, it’s your home.
Relationships require work. They require a lot of effort to make sure 2 people can live under one roof and not drive each other crazy. Find common ground between different interests and choices and make life easier for each other. That’s a lot of hard work.
But emotions? Is it really worth it if I have to put a lot of effort into making myself ‘feel’ a certain way?
Shouldn’t emotions just be undemanding and more importantly, natural?
If it’s the latter, then I have never felt something so innate in my entire existence. And this may sound like an exaggeration, but this right here definitely seemed inevitable, especially having completely forgotten how it felt. Since then, I’ve been a little disoriented about my feelings and a constant state of pondering has been looming over me.
But one thing I’ve concluded for myself is that I could never be with someone where my ‘emotions’ did not flow as naturally. Which further makes me think, I’d probably not be able to feel that with just anyone, but someone I’m close to, probably a bestfriend.