Sitting by the window sill with a cigarette in hand,

Hiding from everybody who I really am.

The mask is imbibed so deep,

That I have forgotten how reality feels.

The scarring mark is a little too surreal,

The piece of trauma is nothing ferial.

Not so happy with the journey so far,

Waiting for the end to shine with the stars.

A story pained with a lot of tar,

Clinch so hard to ensure no door is left ajar.

Something about lying feels comforting,

The truth slowly seems to be deserting.

The makeshift persists but it is a sham,

Maybe that’s who I really am.


17 thoughts on “Appearances

  1. Lying isn’t always bad. Sometimes it’s comforting, especially when it seems people do not get the truth. Don’t feel guilty about it. Until you have the energy to explain or talk about it, do whatever makes it easier for you to stay afloat. Take care 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  2. It’s an amazing writing….sometimes it’s easier to hide the truth….but I can say one thing with certainity….it’s not who you are in reality….though it feels like that at present….am I wrong?….if you weren’t feeling like that….then you would’ve never written these deep lines….


  3. Beautifully written, sad, relatable and very expressive. I think a lot of people can relate to hiding how they feel, and feel like they haven’t gone far enough. However it is so important to hang on in there.


  4. I relate strongly to the feeling of wearing a mask, I’m working hard at authenticity and it’s harder than some would think. There’s a pearl jam lyric that goes “ let the ocean wash away my past, let the sunshine burn away my mask”. Feels appropriate. Nice work best wishes


  5. Maybe you are only stuck in the position you have? Or is what you know? Or is where you find “your” comfort?

    I prefer the truth because … I would rather have the truth myself, so I know who is sincere… even if the truth hurts for a moment – I want that, let me see, ya know? I want to know what’s around me.

    And I tell the truth because I feel like if someone can’t take my truth, then they shouldn’t be in my life. I am not meant for them. Truth sets me free for myself.

    And I don’t have to remember anything else. So just easier for me. I can be at ease when someone is truthful… when they lie – I am guarded.

    If someone lies to me and I find out… I won’t ever trust their words again. They will not come close to me.

    Lies can be stressful, and they can also hurt others.


  6. simi

    It always takes efforts to unmask oneself and guts to be real… But what you gain is something humongous!! Nothing else can match with that feeling!!! Worth the efforts!


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