Mental Health

Of Anxiety And Uncertainty

 There are certain things in life that no college, book or internet can teach you. One needs to simply experience it.

                    A year ago, when I was lying in an ICU bed having a gut wrenching, muscle freezing feeling trying to explain the doctor that something is wrong with me and him looking at me with pity trying to tell me otherwise. That day I learnt that being on the other side of the table ain’t no fun. Despite being a very expressive person I was struggling to articulate what I was feeling. 

                   The things that I encountered may differ from person to person. Humans as we know are complex yet fascinating and there are going to be innumerable versions of their experiences. Mine takes me back to the anxiety attacks where I have cried frantically for hours, going berserk over the limitless thoughts running through my mind. I have felt so vulnerable at times when my mom looked at me helplessly wanting to help and me failing at explaining why I was feeling what I was feeling.

There is so much chaos in the head, you feel all the things and thoughts spiralling out of control and a scream at that time would almost feel cathartic.

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                    Then came the anti-anxiety pills. I share a love-hate relationship with them. They kept me company at most nights and soothed me but made me feel groggy and lethargic during the day. Anxiety is an emotion as strong as happiness or sorrow, it’s a feeling of constant state of despair. It’s not all in my head, you know?

                      Anxiety also seeks isolation. From being the first one to plan social events, I slowly began to be the first one to turn down those events. It didn’t happen overnight, it’s a process and a progressive one.

                      It also taught me that having a support system is comforting. No, it does not make it less painful but it helps you get through the pain. As much as I would like for it to go away, I now embrace it with the hope of it making me stronger and better. It is not a quick fix, I know, but it helps.

I have always been the kind to care too much, to give too much. Many think ‘Oh! That’s a wonderful thing to do, that’s the way to be’. But the most daunting thing about this kind of nature is feeling too much. Expecting people to understand and reciprocate in the same manner to you. And it is one of the common causes of an anxiety disorder.

No, I am not writing this as another motivational anecdote for people feeling or going through similar things. This is for those who are around the ones diagnosed with anxiety disorders.

The do’s and dont’s we all need to know. I am aware it is not the other person’s responsibility or duty to always be as understanding and patient. But there are a few things that are done completely wrong or said in the worst  possible manner that need to stop.

1. No, it’s not in their head and no it won’t just go away.

2. Please stop comparing similar situations from your life and telling them it happens to everyone. Remember, to each, their own.

3. They don’t need to listen to a solution, sometimes they only want to vent or cry. Give them their comfort. Give them their space while being with them alongside.

4. Ask them to seek professional help. They may be reluctant and will say no. Be patient, support them. 

5. It may seem like they’re worrying for no reason and it may sound very futile to you. Please don’t act like it really is.

6. Be kind. As they say,”Everyone is going through a journey you know nothing about, be kind.”

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There are some other things you can do to resolve clinical symptoms:

  • People with anxiety face clinical symptoms like fast heart rate known as palpitations, tightness in the chest, breathlessness and sometimes high blood pressure.
  • Deep breathing and yoga can go a really long way. Try to do it along with them, it gives them a sense of comfort and support.
  • Chamomile tea too can do wonders along with some meditative music (you’ll find a lot of these on YouTube).
  • There are various support groups and online forums that they could join, they can talk to people experiencing and going through similar situations without being judged.

Motivate them to take up some activities, cooking personally helps me a lot. I know a few others who read, write, paint. It is all about channelising the negative energy into a positive one.

Lastly, in this world full of hatred and chaos, be their calm.

Ps. Also find us on Facebook and Instagram.

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55 comments

  1. This was an excellent post. Nobody really talks about anxiety or mental diseases such was this. It’s all a taboo. Just sheer lack of knowledge sometimes makes even genuine, caring people to disrespect those affected even without knowing. Thank you for this. Hope you are well. Take care. 😇

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I remember Linkin Park’s ‘One More Light’ and the one line that’s stuck with me till date is Chester singing ‘Just ‘cause you can’t see it doesn’t mean it isn’t there’ – this is quite literally the one line that’s made me a more compassionate human being.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. This is an excellent post. How people try not to understand, try to relate to their situation without even being there….to simply listen….without judgment….without a fix….just a pure support….thanks for sharing….I’m not here to compare any 2 situations but perhaps, you would find a glimpse of my anxiety in my poems i write….this is one of the most powerful & insightful posts I’ve read 🙏✨

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thanks for this post, it feels nice to know someone has gone through what you’re going through and has the courage to tell it to people’s face what they are doing wrong. I can’t even tell people around me because they feel I’m just too pessimistic. All the same you’ve done a good job here 😍 😘

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’ve been in this spot and school isn’t a so good place as many people there find my attacks funny so they mock me during my panic/anxiety attacks. Similarly, I got myself better through doing things that could help me. But you alone can’t be enough especially when you’re not rational enough, so it’s always important to understand about these things. Unfortunately, many people can’t comprehend.

    Anyway, great post!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. This is such a real and a completely non-romanticized version of the anxiety that people like myself face. So glad that I know the author and that she actually practices what she’s preaching!
        Loved it ❤️

        Liked by 2 people

    1. That’s true! Although they’re two very distinct topics. People can have anxiety along with depression, but not necessarily. They have either of them or both. It’s very important to understand the difference between the two.
      And thank you 😁

      Like

  6. A truly good read. I have to be honest though, it triggered memories when I was battling it before and reminded me of how hard it is – only goes to show how good you write. Thanks for this!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. This is so well written and sums up what it is like living with anxiety very well. General anxiety is very tough to live with but we will get through this! I hope you have an incredible day and thank you so much for sharing this😁

    Liked by 1 person

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